| i find my fingers groping for a utopia that isn't there |
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[07 Apr 2005|06:23am] |
You are 'Latin'. Even among obsolete skills, the
tongue of the ancient Romans is a real
anachronism. With its profusion of different
cases and conjugations, Latin is more than a
language; it is a whole different way of
thinking about things.
You are very classy, meaning that you value the
classics. You value old things, good things
which have stood the test of time. You value
things which have been proven worthy and
valuable, even if no one else these days sees
them that way. Your life is touched by a
certain 'pietas', or piety; perhaps you are
even a Stoic. Nonetheless, you have a certain
fascination with the grotesque and the profane.
Also, the modern world rejects you like a bad
transplant. Your problem is that Latin has
been obsolete for a long time.
What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i am quite old school.
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[07 Apr 2005|06:18am] |
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i watched you cry and it was beautiful.
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[31 Mar 2005|05:05pm] |
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how many times does a profesional have to tell me that i'm headed towards death before i actually shape up?
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[27 Mar 2005|12:20am] |
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josh bought me white roses. giddy, who me?
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[20 Mar 2005|08:00pm] |
my mother the gypsylily, everyone.
it's ironic; my mother called me the other day, and as a note, she told me that if I didn't want her on my livejournal, that'd she'd pull back and disappear. she was worried that i'd be uncomfortable, which is quite the opposite of how i feel about her commenting and joining my journal as a friend. I was smiling from ear to ear, completely happy that she'd put her two cents in - that she took the time to read up on my life, and see me from a different perspective. not as her daughter, but as a human being with my own thoughts. i know she's always given me the freedom of expression, enough flexibility to expand and be my own person, but that doesn't mean she always approved of what i did. she still looked at me like a mother would a daughter, and i not only respect that, but i welcome it. however, it's nice that she'll now see me in another light.
mom, i'm more than happy to have you on my livejournal. your presence doesn't make me the least bit uncomfortable. it won't hold me back from saying what i wish to say; i'll still be as oppinionated and expressive as ever.
just know how much i appreciate you, how much i miss and love you.
we'll end up in europe together, just like we want. i just know it.
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[14 Mar 2005|07:23pm] |
Heather,
You might feel more constrained now than you'd like, but it's not a good time to pull away from the ones you love -- even if you do feel isolated for a while. Perhaps you are tempted to open a can of worms that has held your darkest fears. If you do, be ready for serious consequences and a difficult discussion. It would be best, if possible, to hold your feelings quiet for a day or two while the energy settles down.
that was my horoscope for the day. it nailed it, to say the least.
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[09 Mar 2005|09:18pm] |
Xavius@TheMatrixOnline.com: The Matrix has you, Precious.
omfg. weirdo.
<3
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[08 Mar 2005|05:59pm] |
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he's gone.
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[08 Mar 2005|04:21pm] |
as a note, i don't comment much because i usually stick to pen and paper.
yesterday my dad came up to me and asked me how i felt if he'd check himself into rehab. he was like a little kid. he shuffled up to me as i was walking around the apartment, and with his head lowered he popped the question.
i told him that he had my support, but i'd have to see it before i believe it. those weren't my exact words, but that was my exact point.
today he had an appointment with a doctor, and while i was at school my sister drove up here to support my dad. always topping me, she is. caring and supportive to my apathetic and cold.
he's leaving for alabama either tonight or tomorrow night. we don't know how long the rehab will last. they said it'll depend on how bad into drinking he is.
let's just say that things don't look so good for him.
he'll be on medical leave, without pay. we'll be depending on Elisha's paychecks. that doesn't look so good.
i wonder how long he'll be gone for.
besides all of that . .
i quit my job at golden corral. i put in an application at the theaters yesterday. i was told that i should be hearing from them today or tomorrow. let's hope.
all of this is very interesting. we'll see what happens.
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[03 Mar 2005|05:12pm] |
as my partner in crime, i feel incomplete without you.
i miss you mari.
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[03 Mar 2005|04:35pm] |
kind of like the mafia.
everyone that's spent time with me knows that i'm very protective of my friends. i'm loyal. i'm also straight-forward and i don't have a problem with speaking my mind. some people would think that's a flaw. it can be - but i choose my battles wisely.
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[03 Mar 2005|04:27pm] |
well, of course.
i had a good day today. i'm waiting on josh to call me and tell me what we're doing tonight. it's already 4:30. hurry up.
major happening of the day : i know i'm going to get into a fight with this girl named Kelsey. she treated my good friend christine like shit, and i don't like that. especially since christine is the nicest girl i know, and she's helped me out with problems in the past. she's been there for me, and now i'd like to return the favor. and the friendship. kelsey was talking shit and making fun of christine at lunch, so i stood up and asked her if she had a problem. i told her that anything she had to say, she could say to me. i intimidated her for a little longer, then went to my other friends table. my friend kaitlyn is a junior, and i spoke with her about this little problem that i was having. all the other juniors and seniors at the table turned towards me and listened in. they decided that it'd be fun to fuck with this little punk girl, and so after lunch when everyone was heading back to their classrooms, they crowded around kelsey [ i don't think she knew it, they did it inconspicuously ] and ran into her and shoved her around.
i'm very protective of my friends. especially when someone fucks with the nicest girl in the school. i don't like that.
athanku kaitlyn and my juniors and seniors.
it's immature, and cruel, but people need to learn. christine didn't deserve to be treated like shit. well, kelsey did.
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[01 Mar 2005|08:48am] |
snowflakes, yay!
two hour delay.
score.
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[01 Mar 2005|08:12am] |
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music |
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the strokes - hard to explain |
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dancing and crying to the strokes.
the life <3
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[21 Feb 2005|10:04pm] |
i had a really great time tonight. i ate dinner with josh and then we went to the bowling alley, only they said we'd have to wait an hour if we wanted to play, and so we went to the mall instead. we checked out movie times, and since nothing was playing at a reasonable time, we mozied on down to borders and listened to music. and shared music. it was really nice, and i had alot of fun.
the libertines are great. thanks josh.
i think he's being very careful with me. it's odd.
but he is going to the military ball with me.
i have detention for the next three days for saying bitchy. how fucked up is that? morning detentions can rot in hell.
i have to sleep now. have to wake up early, woohoo. i like it though, so it's okay. i'll wake up at five.
i hope everyone's doing a-o-k! i miss every one of you that know's you're in my heart. i love you. i have to go to bed now!
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[19 Feb 2005|12:15pm] |
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if anyone knows how to get that bright blue away .. let me know, it's really bothering me.
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[14 Feb 2005|08:40pm] |
i think i gained about five pounds from all the chocolate i've eaten today.
. . .
i'm not kidding.
but that's okay, it'll go away in the next few days.
Happy V-Day to my loves - James, Mari, Jacqueline, and Stevo. My heart is like a pie chart.
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[08 Feb 2005|06:47pm] |
i am now thinking that perhaps this has all been an episode of mine - and certainly not the first, since lately, before i thought about moving, people had begun to think me a little bit crazy. talking about hospitalizing me and that sort of thing.
maybe that's it.
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[08 Feb 2005|06:43am] |
the crumble can't last forever.
i cried myself to sleep last night, but when i woke up this strange calm washed over me. i feel unusually peaceful at the moment. maybe i shouldn't doubt myself - the pain and tears made me doubt myself. i thought ' if i was making the right decision, then why does it hurt so badly?'. that's easy.
he's my dad.
i told him last night, while he was taking me to borders. i feel terrible. i think at first he didn't really think i was being serious, then he got it. he had me promise to stay with him til the end of the year. continue therapy until i leave. i'm afraid he's hoping to get me to stay, and i can't do that. i think he believes he's going to win, and he can't do that.if that's what he's thinking , then i'm going to hurt him more than i thought i would.
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[07 Feb 2005|06:10pm] |
fuck
he's being so nice to me. he wants to spend some time together - he wants to take me to borders.
what the fuck am i going to do?
i guess i need to get it over with. i can't expect this mood to last forever.
fuck. mari, james, claire, stevo - i really need you guys.
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